Hot Asian Mom: Loving Moms 2

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I was always told what happened in confinement, so during my pregnancy I was sure that I would be fine as mum would be there. At least in the Chinese culture, there is such a large emphasis on physical recovery that a new mother may not feel comfortable admitting to mental or emotional struggles.

The dystopian satire follows Frida Liu, who, after leaving her daughter unattended, is forcibly enrolled in a reformatory school for bad moms. The book sat on my bedside table for weeks before I dared to open it, the premise alone too close for comfort. Jezebel highly agreed and said, “As if beauty culture didn’t already put enough pressure on us to never start looking old, working tirelessly to turn us all into a diverse chorus of consumer Queen Grimhildes.

I willed myself to get up each time, mostly because I knew my mother would come knocking if I kept my daughter crying. I found it quite helpful – I am an Anglo-Australian, but my husband is Asian-Australian (Chinese-Singaporean ethnicity). Suddenly, my grandmother’s stories weren’t foreign or strange, but rooted in a shared Asian suffering; my mother’s fixation on success, her way of protecting us from a world that saw first the color of our skin. Even though this was not my cultural norm, there were things about confinement that were definitely helpful, especially having someone else look after all the meals and cleaning! But to the outside world I was fine because I couldn’t let the emotions our, or show people that I was struggling.

For a traditional Asian person, what we think of as "alternative" is actually traditional and has been a part of their culture for centuries. However, despite some cultural barriers in getting support from my mother, my primary hurdle in getting help had little to do with my cultural background but more with poor education.Thank you so much for sharing your experience and a look at PPD from your cultural perspective, I learned a wealth of information and gained an understanding I didn't have before. Sleep-deprived, my stomach still aching from the C-section, I’d left my three-month-old baby and my six-year-old daughter with my husband to speak to Jessamine. Although our different cultures have rarely been much of an issue between us, it has been very interesting seeing the cultural differences, particularly with his parents, when we had children.

As a second-generation immigrant teen immersed in white culture, I was baffled by my Asian family—my grandmother’s harrowing war stories, my mother’s laser focus on achievement. Hearing that honestly just upsets me because I only drink ice water– I gag at the thought of room temp water, let alone trying to drink hot water or tea when I’m super thirsty.My mind focused on the word “depression,” and therefore, when I experienced severe anxiety and intrusive thoughts, I didn’t recognize them as anything but personal struggles. My mother-in-law stayed with me for the 'confinement' period just after I had my first, when I struggled with some PPD.