The T in LGBT: Everything you need to know about being trans

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He explains: ‘The messages I get from people, like grandmas, who are like, “You helped me accept my trans grandchild” and I’m like – “Yes!” This is so worth all the hate.’ The more we have out there that show a true representation of trans people and the trans experience, the better

Queen of Teen 2014 Juno Dawson is the multi award-winning author of six novels for young adults. In 2016, she authored the best-selling World Book Day title: SPOT THE DIFFERENCE. Hey, I'm Jamie, a 29-year-old trans guy from the UK. I've been transitioning for 12 years now after realising I was trans (by accident!) at sixteen years old. I knew I was a boy since the age of four, but realised whilst growing up that I was different. It was only in my teens that I found the words to express who I was and what I needed to do. Since then, I've been on testosterone for more than a decade - I know, I can't believe it either - I've also had top and bottom surgery and legally changed my sex, so I know a few things about the transitioning process and being trans! As a cisgender ally to the LGBTQ+ community Juno has taught me so much. This book has made me question things about my own gender identity (I've realised there is much about myself which is gender-nonconforming), made me think about how I can be a better ally and as a parent how best I could respond if one of my own children came out as trans. I genuinely thought that my only way to experience dating and relationships was to delay coming out and transitioning. I was 16 at the time, I identified as a lesbian, and had been in two relationships so far, neither of which had felt right because I didn’t feel right. They also … just … weren’t right. I really wanted to experience those ‘typical teenage moments of dating. Flirting, going on a cringey date, having that ‘do they/don’t they like me’ panic. But I just couldn’t hold off being myself. This is all sounding really sad, but I’m pleased to report that none of my fears were true. I’ve been in a relationship for the past 11 years with someone who loves me and accepts me fully for who I am. As a fan of Juno Dawson from both her YA novels and her other titles such as 'This Book is Gay' and 'The Gender Games' - her new book 'What's The T?' doesn't disappoint.Jamie now wants to help other young trans people get support as they transition. It was the driver behind his book, The T in LGBT , which aims to detail ‘everything you need to know about being trans’. Maybe you’re the kind of person who’s very upfront; you might have it in your bio, or told people before a first date, because that’s just a rule you want to live by. Maybe you’ve had a not-so-great past experience that’s led you to be more cautious now. If telling a previous date resulted in them publicly and abruptly ending things, it would make sense why somebody might now choose to go on a first date and only decide to tell them once they’re sure they wanted to see them again (they might even decide to not come out in person this time. I would say as a late transitioning trans women ( hitting 60 before I broke and it all flooded out )I’m not really in the target audience. However I still learnt and enjoyed from this book. I remember when coming out and still very unsure of myself. I went to a group and met a trans man. We had so much in common as we were on this road traveling in opposition directions. Talking with him, strengthening my resolve to shine in the world. So I would recommend this book of Jamie’s to both trans guys and trans girls. I would also say it’s well worth reading if your kid has come out to you (the bravest thing your child has ever done and a testament to your parenting skills that they are sharing this deepest secret with you) or you are just someone who wants to try and understand just what trans is all about. Anyone who has watched Jamie’s journey on YouTube will not be disappointed. He has a light touch and warm charm that really shines through in this reading.

In reality, trans women are women. They should absolutely have access to women’s spaces, and evidence suggests that they pose no increased risk to cis women. Jaime has a casual and humorous tone that makes the book feel really accessible while also not shying away from difficult topics.

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If we have as many things as possible out there that show a true representation of trans people and the trans experience, the better.’ I wanted to add something that was a combination of my personal journey mixed with the personal journeys of others. It’s definitely a good idea to shop around and find which apps you feel most comfortable using. There are dating apps made specifically for the LGBT+ community, and some, even more specifically, for trans people. Some trans people feel most comfortable dating other trans people, or happen to socialise with other trans people more frequently, leading to ‘T4T’ (or ‘trans for trans’) relationships. It’s perfectly okay for people to want T4T relationships. It makes sense that a shared experience, unspoken understanding, and guaranteed acceptance of your identity would take away some of the scary aspects of dating. I think it’s crucial to humanise the trans experience and to hear about it from trans people themselves. The more resources out there from trans perspectives, the better, and I wanted to add to this with a book that gave a personal account of transitioning. One of the things I really wanted to focus on was providing a range of trans voices because no one journey is the same.”

Juno also wrote the bestselling non-fiction guide to life for young LGBT people, THIS BOOK IS GAY. In 2016 a follow-up, MIND YOUR HEAD, featured everything a young person needs to know about mental health. I want to welcome you to The T in LGBT where you can explore and learn about so many topics surrounding gender identity: realising you're trans, starting hormones, considering surgery, and everything in between. Whether you're questioning your own identity and are looking for advice on certain stages of transition, or whether you're wanting to learn about the trans experience to support someone or understand allyship, I hope this book can be your one-stop guide to everything trans related. I first realised I was trans when I was 16 when I came across a documentary about a young trans guy and realised that there was a way to describe how I’d been feeling my whole life. It was scary and relieving at the same time, and I began the journey of self-discovery. The book is very much written in Jamie's voice which makes it as welcoming and friendly as his videos. It is informative and knowledgable without being daunting and beautifully gentle and playful at times while also taking a cautious tone when approaching more serious topics. Jamie is one of the safest Youtubers I know of when it comes to how he approaches potentially triggering topics and his book reflects that. The biggest one definitely seems to be personality. Some people don’t want to potentially waste their time developing a connection unless they know that person is accepting, while others want to know if they’re going to develop a connection before being so open about their transness. I personally would opt to have my transness front and centre so that I wouldn’t have to come out in person, and so I’d avoid spending time with someone who might not want to continue dating after finding out I’m trans. Again, there’s no right or wrong answer.

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But already one of my annoyances - the description here says 'for 14+' as many LGBT books do by default, but the author has already said “it’s a book of everything I wish I’d known when I was twelve” (p21) and it feels clearly aimed to be accessed by 11+ (and younger by artwork but not by language). It's one of those little things about LGBT books that publishers etc do that winds me up. There's so much wonderful content in this book so I won't go over all of it here. Just know every chapter is intelligent and beautifully written. This is a great overview book for people who are interested in knowing about the trans experience. The book has tidbits for trans folks as well as allies.

If you had read a similar book when you were realising your gender identity, how would that have helped you? I really hope it’s a book that anyone can find approachable, funny, and genuine. I’d love to help the trans community feel less alone because that’s what the community has provided me with. Whether that’s support with figuring themselves out, building up the courage to come out, or knowing what kinds of surgical options are available. I didn't finish reading this, and for these reasons I'm about to tell you, I also won't rate it, since the rating for my personal enjoyment and what the book is intended for would be very differ from each other.Jamie Raines writes the book that his 16-year-old self needed – The T in LGBT. Written in honest, accessible prose, Jamie helps readers to navigate the often confusing process of transitioning, using his own experience and the voices of other trans people. By finding the words to express himself, 12 years after realising he was trans, Jamie helps to empower those voices yet to be heard as well as those seeking to learn more. In an interview, he expanded on his intentions for the book. You are lovable. I don’t think trans people get told this enough. I certainly didn’t hear it – ever – when I first came out, and I think being told that I was lovable would have helped a huge amount. I did, however, realise this was a big concern for my mum. That somehow, coming out could change whether I would live a happy and fulfilled life, including finding a partner. Not because she didn’t think I could or should, but because of society’s opinion and treatment of trans people. So, to all the trans people reading who need to hear it: you are lovable. Being trans doesn’t exclude you from finding love in all of its forms.