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Yeah, but last week we were caught and had to sit down and watch the rest of the game,” replied one of the fans. One day while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" The Gunners fan was thinking: 'That Spurs fan must have kissed Megan Fox who went to slap him, missed him and slapped me instead.' The one, the only Pete Price, Liverpool’s Citizen of Honour and greatest radio phone in host ever! The man, the lizard (apparently) has had an incredible 50 year career in entertainment. The natural ability to have any size audience in absolute uproar laughing, Pete travelled the world as a stand up comic after winning 70’s talent show ‘New Faces’. Now he’s either having a rant with us at The Guide Liverpool or hosting his long running Radio City phone in show – with hysterical results. Liverpool pays tribute to Pete’s amazing career here. Freddie Starr
Made famous by Brookside, this was Jimmy Corkhill’s put-down of choice. The word has two possible origins - one theory is that it’s an abbreviation of the 1950s Unemployment Dividend and was used to describe someone who didn’t have a job. There are three friends. Each supports a different team, one for Hartlepool, one for Liverpool, and one for Arsenal. Their plane crashes in the middle of the ocean, and each of them ends up on a desert island with only one sheep. They slaughter the sheep and use their wool for warmth until they become hungry. The Germans bombed our Chippy’s and the fish got battered!! It’s a joke that’s been passed down through the ages on Merseyside and Stan Boardman had the audiences in uproar with his anti-German jokes – especially when he said ‘Fokker’ live on prime time telly! Another Scouse funny man who made it into the UK top 20 chart with his World Cup Song, Stan is showing no signs of retiring! More info here. Paul Smith Credit: Paul Smith, Hot Water Comedy Club The fourth passenger was the Pope. Pope said to the 5th passenger, an 8-year-old girl, “I’m an old man. I’ll sacrifice my life for yours.” The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered. He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
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Receive newsletters with the latest news, sport and what's on updates from the Liverpool ECHO by signing up here Ye da sits at the top of the stairs and pretends he's The Chaser' - Ste Swift (and pretty much everyone else) Quasimodo came out of his conference scratching his head. He looked at the others and asked, "Who the hell is Martin Keown?" A policeman stops a suspected drunk driver and asks him to take a breath test, the driver pulls out a medical card that says, “This man is asthmatic please do not take his breath.’ So the policeman asks him to take a blood test, the man then pulls out another card which read ‘This man is anemic, please do not take his blood.”
He added: "From seeing all the tributes online you can see how much of an impact he had on people's lives. There are bigger gyms than Lifestyles but people come for our staff. Paul was the best of us." We're made up that you read the Echo - so want to offer you great opportunities to Complete The Set and get more involved now! What is the difference between Arsenal’s players going to Chelsea and Chelsea’s players going to Arsenal? Ya da does five yard sprints in Sports Direct when he's trying his new trainers on' - Stephen NixonArsene Wenger was to meet his new girlfriend outside the Cinema at 7pm, at 9pm she had still not arrived, so he went home furious. Just look at our cars, there's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days." Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and, as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark.
Similar to biff, this describes anyone who has been a bit of an idiot, from your kid sister to the old fella in the pub who can’t handle his ale. Are you messin? The first passenger is Cristiano Ronaldo: I’m the world’s best footballer, and my fans still need me. He takes one parachute and jumps.Colin told the ECHO Paul played football on Saturday morning and did not feel well. Paul, a huge Liverpool FC fan, then went to Anfield to watch the Liverpool v Everton derby. However, he still did not feel well when he returned home and went to the walk-in centre. Queen Elizabeth sat through Hitler, the Cold war, and the threat of Nuclear war but watching Ronaldo play in the Europa League is where she drew the line. Some 'your da' jokes have taken on an elevated status and are now the 'your da' jokes against which all other 'your da' jokes are judged. A Primary school teacher explains to her class that she is an Liverpool supporter. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Liverpool supporters, too.
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