Want to be Spanked?

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Subs enjoy only clearly specified sensations. Like everyone else, even the most submissive subs hate dog bites, sprained ankles, or street assaults. They crave only what they personally enjoy. You could fill it out together, comparing answers as you go, or fill it out separately then compare your answers. My parents, to this day, believe that nudity and humiliation were part of breaking my will of disobedience. To ask them, they'd do it all the same again. Let me clarify something: I'm not "into" spanking the way you might be "into" Celine Dion or “The Bourne Identity.” Spanking is a part of my psyche, an essential element of my sexuality. It's not like slavering over cheerleaders, or fantasizing about sex on the beach at sunset. When I was a kid I used to look up the word "spanking" in the dictionary, and I got a visceral thrill when I saw a spanking scene on “Little House on the Prairie” or “I Love Lucy.” In position, his questions force obedient answers from you. Punctuated by hard spanks, your admissions are deeply cathartic and hurt as much as his spanks.

Players negotiate clear agreements about subs’ limits. In Fifty Shades of Grey, the dom, Christian Grey, presents his prospective sub, Anastasia Steele, with a lengthy contract proposal detailing how he’d like to play. They discuss each point. Steele accepts some, modifies others, and rejects several. Grey accepts her decisions and honors them by not delivering any sensations beyond her specified limits. Not all BDSMers employ written contracts, but all state their desires and negotiate their limits and how play unfolds. Consequently, BDSM play is erotic theater. All action is carefully scripted, in marked contrast to conventional (“vanilla”) sex, where many fall into bed with little, if any, negotiation of what’s about to occur. For many kinksters, BDSM feels intimate and powerful because of the negotiations and fantasy sharing it involves. My first fantasies of spanking started around the age of five. I would lie in bed before sleep and imagine my wedding day, flowers, white dress and all. After the ceremony, my new husband and I would be alone in a room on our honeymoon. And then, he would turn me over his knee and spank me. I was five. I didn’t know what sex was. I didn’t know what people did on their honeymoon. All I knew was that I wanted a husband who would spank me. Thanks to a certain recent hit book trilogy, there are many, many articles floating around about ways to add kink into your sex life. Many of these articles focus on making the experience "spicy" or "spontaneous," and less on telling you things like, "Do not hit your partner in the region above their butt because doing so could cause kidney damage." This results in articles that give incomplete or actually harmful advice. Spiritual experience: Some people report that SM practices alter their state of consciousness, providing them with a sense of connection, wholeness, and mind expansion. Reclaiming or relinquishing power through the act of spanking may help some people regain psychological control over past traumatic events.

Beyond BDSM: Pain as Pleasure

Some people don’t like to be spanked at all. And that’s okay, too. If you’re a partner who likes to spank, this might be a challenge for you. There are some solutions, such as having his/her permission for you to spank others, or be spanked by others. At times, spanking was an obsession, and one made all the more torturous for the shame I felt harboring it. For more than 20 years I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought that if, by chance, someone else felt the same way, then they'd be a dirty old man with a grubby overcoat and bulging eyes. But I couldn't help it. I didn't choose to be kinky in this way, any more than a man or woman chooses to be straight or gay. The way I saw it, homosexuals had their closet and I had mine. Only mine was a lot smaller, and I was the only one in it. https://journalofpositivesexuality.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Parallels-Between-BDSM-and-Extreme-Ritual-Sagarin-Lee-Klement.pdf

Escapism or sense of adventure: People may find spanking therapy a way to change their routine and elevate their experience from mundane or everyday matters. Sure I care but not that much. You are a big girl. If you know you need to do something and you chose not to that is your business. But you are on your own because I find all this confusing and you're just not worth the effort.” I definately think that there are more women than you realize who like to be spanked. I for one was getting turned on just scrolling down & reading what everyone else shared about their experiences of being spanked. I've been spanked with belts,a tv cable cord,a wooden spoon,brush,etc.,mostly as foreplay...but I found myself wanting more of a "real" spanking for punishment,rather than just lightly for foreplay.If you're leaning towards yes, then the best way to satisfy your curiosity is to try it out (with your boyfriend's consent, of course, which we'll get to in a moment). Keep in mind that trying spanking once doesn't mean you're agreeing to be spanked every time you have sex. If you try it and you don't like it, you can stop. You might try it and find that you like it, but don't want a steady diet of it. Like any other sexual activity, trying spanking once doesn't mean that you have to, or will want to, experience it every time. Or, you might try it and find that it's something you want on a frequent basis. There are no rules here. As far as knowing whether you'd like spanking in the real world, that's really something only you can answer and discover. A 2019 study looked at how Canadian university students thought about BDSM practices, with 60% of male participants and 31% of female participants having positive thoughts about whipping or spanking. Where can a person learn more about spanking therapy? We were in bed, still in those heady, lust-filled days of a new relationship. I really liked her, suspected that I might even love her, which meant I had to tell her the truth about myself. She sat up to listen, and I trailed my fingers over her thigh, eyes down, nervous as a teenager. I was 30 years old and for the first time in my life I was going to tell a girlfriend that I wanted to spank her. No, not wanted to, needed to. And I knew that telling her might mean the immediate death of our relationship, but I also knew we'd never be perfect together unless I looked into her pretty blue eyes and told this sweet, innocent, beautiful woman that I had a spanking fetish.