The Twat Files: A hilarious sort-of memoir of mistakes, mishaps and mess-ups

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That kind of perfect is impossible. Being an actual twat is much more the real me. Sorry to boast, but I am a champion twat. Managing director Louise Moore acquired UK and Commonwealth rights to The Twat Files from Robert Kirby at United Agents. It will publish 12th October 2023, alongside an audiobook edition released simultaneously by Penguin Random House Audio.

In The Twat Files I will tell you about all the times I've been a total and utter twat. The moments where I've misunderstood stuff and messed up. In my life these have been key because:

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In The Twat Files I will tell you about all the times I've been a total and utter twat. The moments where I've misunderstood stuff and messed up. In my life these have been key because: Mistakes tell us about ourselves. Mistakes tell us about others. Mistakes are hilarious. Mistakes expose our flaws. Mistakes show us ourselves honestly. Mistakes are gloriously human.

When I was younger I wanted to be an interesting, sophisticated, semi-heroic, multi-layered person. My hope is that these stories might fire up yer engines to remind you of just what a massive twat you also are. Let's celebrate and revel in this most delightful of traits together. From 1st July 2021, VAT will be applicable to those EU countries where VAT is applied to books - this additional charge will be collected by Fed Ex (or the Royal Mail) at the time of delivery. Shipments to the USA & Canada: My hope is that these stories might fire up yer engines to remind you of just what a massive twat you also are.

Dawn French - The Twat Files

If you're coming to Coles by car, why not take advantage of the 2 hours free parking at Sainsbury's Pioneer Square - just follow the signs for Pioneer Square as you drive into Bicester and park in the multi-storey car park above the supermarket. Come down the travelators, exit Sainsbury's, turn right and follow the pedestrianised walkway to Crown Walk and turn right - and Coles will be right in front of you. You don't need to shop in Sainsbury's to get the free parking! Where to Find Us Writing via the marketing blurb, the Vicar Of Dibley star explains: "Nincompoop. Nitwit. Lunatic. Dork. All lovely . . . but . . . nah . . . I prefer Twat. It's neat and it's accurate somehow. Because, yes, I am a Twat . . . sometimes. Aren't we all?

Announcing the book, she said: "I am documenting all the times in my life that I have been so far from perfect. In fact, all the times I've been an utter twat. And there are many, many, many examples; more than I ever thought." Dawn French has written a new book. The Twat Files will see her documents all the times she's been "far from perfect". One of the most enchanting tales is her whimsical yet unfulfilled tryst with Johnny Depp. The way French recounts her fanciful belief in their destined happily ever after, only for reality to play spoilsport, is both heartwarming and humorous. It's a testament to her storytelling prowess, weaving a narrative that's as fantastical as it is grounded in the bittersweet truths of life. The Twat Files is described as “an anthem to imperfection”. The synopsis says: “Covering everything from first loves and flirting to onscreen crushes, from pony club to hippos to Elton John, Dawn recounts the many mishaps, misunderstandings and cringe-inducing moments that are the inevitable part of being gloriously, messily human. As laugh-out loud hilarious as it is warm and wise, The Twat Files brings together Dawn’s stories of love and loss, motherhood, friendship and family through one unifying concept – that Dawn French is a massive twat.”In The Twat Files I will tell you about all the times I’ve been a total and utter twat. The moments where I’ve misunderstood stuff and messed up. In my life these have been key because:

In The Twat Files I will tell you about all the times I've been a total and utter twat. The moments where I've misunderstood stuff and messed up. In my life these have been key The Twat Files by Dawn French is a hilarious peek into all the times in her life that she has been (as she puts it) a massive twat. The title is what made me want to read this and being familiar with Dawn’s work through the years I expected this book to be funny, insightful, and downright entertaining. I wasn’t wrong! Being a twat is universal and my twatishness is no different to yours. Except perhaps, that mine has been horrifyingly public on occasion. My hope is that reading these stories of my twattishness might remind you of just what a massive twat you also are, that we might celebrate and revel in this most delightful of traits, together." Discover the truth behind the many, many times Dawn French has been a complete twat over the last sixty years.The Twat Files are my stories of the times when I've been a total, utter twat. Time and time again, I've been a massive eejit. But the more I think about it, the more I understand that the moments where I've made mistakes, misunderstood stuff and messed up are key. That's where all my learning happens and where I laugh the most.