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Dad jokes are so funny that even one-liner dad jokes are a hit! Find out more funny dad jokes below.
No Pun Intended: Volume Too | The Last of Us Wiki | Fandom No Pun Intended: Volume Too | The Last of Us Wiki | Fandom
If you donate a kidney, everybody loves you and you’re a total hero. But try donating five kidneys and suddenly everyone is yelling and the police get called. Concerned that his son was spending too much time on video games, a dad told him, “When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.” “Oh yeah?” the son retorts. “Well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States.” In 2017 I didn't do a marathon. I didn't do one in 2018, 2019, or 2020, either. This is a running joke.
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What did the librarian say when a library book fell on his head? "I only have my-shelf to blame!" Great Jokes About Reading I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he’s still making fun of me. My dad died because he couldn’t remember his blood type. He kept insisting we “be positive,” but it’s just so hard without him. One of my favorite memories as a kid was when my brothers used to put me inside a tire and roll me down a hill. They were Goodyears! When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes: Because your dad
Does anybody know where a guy can find a person to hang out with, talk to, and enjoy spending time with? I'm just asking for a friend. My landlord told me we need to talk about the heating bill. "Sure," I said. "My door is always open." My wife gave birth three times and still fits in her prom dress from high school. I gave birth zero times and I don’t fit in my pants from March. Did you hear Bruce Springsteen changed the lyrics to one of his songs? What’s he going to change next—his hair? His clothes? His face? One friend complained to another, “All my husband and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I’ve lost 20 pounds.” “If it’s that bad, why don’t you just leave him?” asked the second friend. “I’d like to lose another fifteen pounds first.”
At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery…I’ll kill him with my bear hands. What’s worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Did you enjoy our collection of funny jokes about Dad? Enough to get your stomach hurt with laughter and giggles? Well, I hope you find our compilation of old and new dad jokes hilarious because there are some more jokes you can enjoy. Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising.
The Ultimate Dad Joke Book: 501 Hilarious Puns, Funny One
Your wife and daughter look like twins," my friend said. "Well," I replied, "they were separated at birth." My daughter just shrieked at me, “Daaaaaad, you haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, have you?” What an odd way to begin a conversation. What’s your name, son?” The principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” “Do you have a stutter?” the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.” I like to spend my weekends playing chess with elderly men in the park. But it’s becoming more difficult. You try finding exactly32 old guys.Want more? What about Dad Joke Puns? I hope you’re still looking for more because we got more funny dad jokes for you! Go ahead and start telling dad jokes!
All New Dad Jokes by Dad Says Jokes | Waterstones
Shiv: Sharpening · Health: Splinting · Shiv: Reinforcement · Melee: Knots · Molotov: Construction · Bomb: Containment · Melee: Techniques · Smoke: Chemistry · Health: Sterilization · Molotov: Deployment · Smoke: Shaping · Bomb: Shrapnel We would love to make this article even better and we would like you to be part of it. Comment down below and share with us your best dad jokes or your dad’s top joke that made you laugh on the floor. What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire. The following puns are known to have come from this book after Riley gives it to Ellie in Left Behind. My wife wanted to spice up our sex life, so she asked if we could play doctor tonight. It seemed like a weird idea, but I’m eager to please.My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve." If you're feeling depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before you go to sleep. It'll give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my eighteen brothers and sisters but they didn’t have any idea either.
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